again n again i fall~~~

friday 2nd jan 2008 2332hrs;

yanie n greyz is here in cardiff with me, simah n deena... yaay!!! im happy with that... really~~~ like batah udah kmi nda hangout n stuff. i miss them n hangin out together n stuff... n i miss my room in kent!!! waaa.... i miss being in my room, cooking in d kitchen, eating ramai2 n bedoa selamat... i miss it.. as high as i was before, i am as low s i was high now...

argh i hate dis feeling of abandonment.. like really... napa kn aku ani?? i need to be happy... just be wut i am n dat is a student, the gmah dat i know i was... a person who was not this sad. a person who can control her emotions, a person who is a reasonable n rational woman... a person who doesnt rely on anybody else but herself... why do i have to be like dis now?? seriously~~~ i wanna be better, i wanna be the person dat i was... i know i can do it...

i have to be better because when im like dis i annoy ppl... when i care too much, i annoy ppl... so sometyms i just say nothing n say i am fine... astagah... ntah eyh... malasth ku lg...

adios... malasku lg.. let me just wallow in dis feeling dat are owez roller-coastering all the tym... i just hate dis... so ppl, i might not write in my blog for a long tym coz i feel like shit! ntah eyh.. let me be wah!!!

signing out coz i just cant be bothered!!!