okeh so.... u would think dat u are the special one in someone's life when clearly u r not... when clearly u r just a person. not special, not unique, not even worth a fleeting thought in dat person's mind...
clearly, u would think dat u r special but actually even if dat person sed yg u r d one person who is dear to their heart, it isnt guaranteed dat u r the one thing that crosses their mind.... when in fact u are the last thing...
it snt enough that u do things u wouldnt coz of dem, n dat u would get out of ur way to please dem, when all the while dat person dont want to be witchu alone but in fact dey wanna be with a lot of ppl coz apparently a lot of ppl are more fun n when dat ppl is with other ppl u r just one person. no one special.... well i guess it is just stupid of me to think dat i am dat special huh?
stupid of me to think dat i might be important to you when in fact other ppl are important to you n when being with a lot of ppl are more "fun" than being with me... i geddit now.. from now on, i wouldnt think highly of myself n owez think dat i m not the person who u prefer... i would think of myself as just a person, no one special, since m not even worth thinking about... i geddit now...
so now i think dat i will just be a person who is sober all the tym, let u go be with other ppl n not to wait for u to come to me when u're tired of being with all the "fun" ppl... its okeh... i'll heal whenever... u dont care, so why bother... its ok... but my promise still stand, i wont hurt u, i wont make u feel bad n i'll still be here for u owez... dat i promise... n i hope u'll feel ok with dat..
i wont search for u like before coz now i geddit... i'll be here whenever u nd me but i wont promise dat i'll be all sympathetic when u feel dat other ppl have hurt u, when u know all along dat i have always been there for you. it might sound dat i am harsh n dat i am pathetic but i have reached a point in my life where i know for a fact dat i should just please myself n dat i cant let myself sacrifice everything for you... now i will force myself to just ignore the pang of jealousy whenever the same thing happens n dat u prefer to be with others n not me... i hate dat but i cant control you coz u r not mine to have a significant say in what u do.. i will try to ignore the feeling dat i get whenever i see stuff dat i know u like, the feeling dat i wanna buy u dat even when i know dat i cant really afford it... oh well!!! such is life n i cant just contour life as i want it to be...
whatever happens, u r who u r n i cant just ignore the fact that u r a people pleaser n dat u thrive to be around ppl to be yourself... i cant ignore dat... its ok... u cant choose who u fall in love with... n i have fallen for you n i have to accept you... even if i know dat it isnt healthy to dwell in you... its ok.. its alright.. m fine, u know me as a woman who can take care of herself... owez have been since dari damit sudah so why should i stop now... u are just a distraction... i have to carry on with my life... i cant just stp being me when u have hurt me... i can thrive without you... for now i need to focus on me...
i need to reassess myself n what i stand for. coz eversince i have fallen for u, my life is at a standstill... i cant think straight, i cant even feel anything for other ppl n my priority was owez u... now i know better.. even if i still rely on you, i will try n not be obvious about it coz it will be hectic... for me n for u...
p/s: Sam, if u dont geddit still, i mean all this n m referring to you... go figure!!!
pp/s: if u still dont geddit, it is YOU i am talking about... n dat i feel dat contrary to what i say, I WANT TO BE SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE!!! GET A FREAKING CLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okeh i think dats it.. enough for tonight... i cant taake it anymore... dere is only a certain level of pain dat i can tolerate in one day n this is my threshold... i am done... i need to get a life... i need to move on n i hope dat i can just be without you... i hope.. have a good life.. salam everyone...
clearly, u would think dat u r special but actually even if dat person sed yg u r d one person who is dear to their heart, it isnt guaranteed dat u r the one thing that crosses their mind.... when in fact u are the last thing...
it snt enough that u do things u wouldnt coz of dem, n dat u would get out of ur way to please dem, when all the while dat person dont want to be witchu alone but in fact dey wanna be with a lot of ppl coz apparently a lot of ppl are more fun n when dat ppl is with other ppl u r just one person. no one special.... well i guess it is just stupid of me to think dat i am dat special huh?
stupid of me to think dat i might be important to you when in fact other ppl are important to you n when being with a lot of ppl are more "fun" than being with me... i geddit now.. from now on, i wouldnt think highly of myself n owez think dat i m not the person who u prefer... i would think of myself as just a person, no one special, since m not even worth thinking about... i geddit now...
so now i think dat i will just be a person who is sober all the tym, let u go be with other ppl n not to wait for u to come to me when u're tired of being with all the "fun" ppl... its okeh... i'll heal whenever... u dont care, so why bother... its ok... but my promise still stand, i wont hurt u, i wont make u feel bad n i'll still be here for u owez... dat i promise... n i hope u'll feel ok with dat..
i wont search for u like before coz now i geddit... i'll be here whenever u nd me but i wont promise dat i'll be all sympathetic when u feel dat other ppl have hurt u, when u know all along dat i have always been there for you. it might sound dat i am harsh n dat i am pathetic but i have reached a point in my life where i know for a fact dat i should just please myself n dat i cant let myself sacrifice everything for you... now i will force myself to just ignore the pang of jealousy whenever the same thing happens n dat u prefer to be with others n not me... i hate dat but i cant control you coz u r not mine to have a significant say in what u do.. i will try to ignore the feeling dat i get whenever i see stuff dat i know u like, the feeling dat i wanna buy u dat even when i know dat i cant really afford it... oh well!!! such is life n i cant just contour life as i want it to be...
whatever happens, u r who u r n i cant just ignore the fact that u r a people pleaser n dat u thrive to be around ppl to be yourself... i cant ignore dat... its ok... u cant choose who u fall in love with... n i have fallen for you n i have to accept you... even if i know dat it isnt healthy to dwell in you... its ok.. its alright.. m fine, u know me as a woman who can take care of herself... owez have been since dari damit sudah so why should i stop now... u are just a distraction... i have to carry on with my life... i cant just stp being me when u have hurt me... i can thrive without you... for now i need to focus on me...
i need to reassess myself n what i stand for. coz eversince i have fallen for u, my life is at a standstill... i cant think straight, i cant even feel anything for other ppl n my priority was owez u... now i know better.. even if i still rely on you, i will try n not be obvious about it coz it will be hectic... for me n for u...
p/s: Sam, if u dont geddit still, i mean all this n m referring to you... go figure!!!
pp/s: if u still dont geddit, it is YOU i am talking about... n dat i feel dat contrary to what i say, I WANT TO BE SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE!!! GET A FREAKING CLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okeh i think dats it.. enough for tonight... i cant taake it anymore... dere is only a certain level of pain dat i can tolerate in one day n this is my threshold... i am done... i need to get a life... i need to move on n i hope dat i can just be without you... i hope.. have a good life.. salam everyone...
