A lot has been happening around the house... couple that with things at work and it can make anybody go crazee... honestly, I need to surround myself with positive energy... sometimes it is not enough that you know people love you, you feel lonely at times... even in the midst of a big crowd, you are alone, coz nobody knows what you are thinking exactly.... dont get me wrong... I love my family, my friends, my life. It is just that some things are not in your control and being a control freak sometimes things that I do kill me inside...

But at the end of the day, there will always be that little thing that makes the wrongs of the day right... So I'm good... Just need a little me time you know... Yeah must be it...

Aloha n I'm sending good vibes to the world in hopes of good vibes going my way.... peace!

Hell of a week!!!

I realised that having a loud karaoke is not a good thing to have... You will enjoy it.. But will it be the same for others?? This week, I didnt enjoy it one bit! Go figure!

I am tired of this!!!

I am so tired of refreshing the wall of your fb just so I can get a glimpse of any sort of activity that u make... How sad am I? Whenever your name pops out at the friends newspage, I get all excited. Only to be disappointed when you were just playing games on fb or wrote something on the walls of others but not on mine... I dunno how much of this I can take... I miss you so badly even when I know I have to be strong... I just miss you and that's the truth...

I miss being adventurous with cooking~~~

Hello y'all...

I was going through my old pictures from Kent when i stumbled onto my folder full of food pics... Oh I do miss cooking with reckless abandon!!!

So enjoy! Top left is my raspberry tartlett. Beside that is my very own Chicken Balti (best Indian dish I've ever made I must say!). Bottom left is Chicken Pandan with Coconut Rice (After grilling the chix covered with Pandan leaf, I proceed to fry the wings in vegetable oil, adding more flavours.) Bottom right is my Tuna tacos sauteed with belle pepper and carrots, accompanied by caramelised oven fries with garlic served with homemade thousand island.

YUM!!!!

Insecure~~~

You know, even through all the things that reassured me, i am still insecure. Not sure as to what the outcome would be. I am optimistic though... Positive things that were said about me and you assured me, but on the other hand, you are not a penyampai hati person so others can attract you... It is just a matter of circumstances. Circumstances change and I feel as though I have been neglected but in a sense I feel that the feeling is mutual. So how to remedy this?? I guess being honest would probably be the best solution to all this confusion. But being honest is not an option here. I guess I just have to be content as to the way things are at the moment. But how can I!!!!!! I am a jealous person man!!

Love is lost in this matter... So pick me...

What I want when I work...

I want a whole load of things.... I want materialistic stuff, i want spiritual stuff... but for now, I will just list my wants...

1. My own CAR (preferably a Corvette)
2. My own Place (I wanna live alone but I want on weekends n weeknights my house to be full of family and friends. I will have a guestroom for sleepovers!)
3. My own KITCHEN (coz I love to cook)
4. My own MONEY (I want to earn a lot coz I want to afford the previous items.. hehehe...)
5. My own WALK-IN CLOSET (ani for my shoes... coz I'm crazy for shoes...)
6. My own HDTV (so I can watch all my favourite series and movies with my hair blowing with all the noise my Bose speakers on full blast!)
7. My own STUDIO (I want a whole studio for showing my photos that I take with Bianca... also, I want to develop my own pictures...)

I know that it is kinda a lot... but I can dream n I truly believe that without dreams you will have no direction... So DREAM ON.... (I mean it...!!)

Taken for Granted...

Hello people,

Exam's coming soon.... I have not read anything yet... I have not the faintest clue as to what I am studying.. N apparently my Personal Statement is crap... Urgh.... Urang HRD buat bnyk corrections ah... mati kali... atuu ia.... haha...

anyhoo, I kinda need to vent... How come there are inequalities in the world??? I mean, you would think that there should be equal opportunities n stuff ryte??? but noooo... u have to know someone or be a relative of someone to advance in life... Life's a *ITCH...!! i dont like it one bit... soooo unfair....

Other than the negative things di atas, I feel I have significant progress in dealing with my inner demons regarding love.. I have let go of him n I for the first time feel hatred towards Sam on 1st April... n after that, as if by magic, I kinda dont feel pangs of jealousy everytym I was reminded of him... Is dat progress or is dat progress... Say it with me now... I have significantly progressed for the better.... hahaha... i think this could be good, no???

NOW, WHAT i NEED TO DO IS CONCENTRATE N JUST BELAJAR for examss....... wish me luck....

I need to really relax...

Okay like seriously I am pissed off a little tym ani... and utterly confused... anyhoo, my question is: is it bad if I feel that I want to wring the neck of someone just because they did something that makes them happy but in the expense of others?? I guess it is bad, but I just cant stop myself in indulging in my imagination where I am wringing your pretty little neck!!!! hahah!!! take that you little hypocrite and kiss ass person!!!

On another note, I think I have a lot on my plate. I need to take care of the Election Day for FBEPS, I have other responsibilities and I have a lot of assignments to do...!!! argh! I really have no idea how I can cope with these things!! Honestly!

I just had Shaeyna fixed today... Thank God I didnt have to pay a lot. It only costs $15 to fix her... Shaeyna's my lappy's name btw... I know I'm weird... I name my favourite things... So anyways, Shaeyna was a little bit shy and her Monitor came up blank. So I panicked and sent her to DcL Communications where I got her... Thank God it was a minor thing... I dunno what I would do if Shaeyna was kaputzz...

For now I know I am relaxing and stuff, but in the end I will get it done... I hope... and I cant wait for everything to be done so that I can just have enough rest and dont have to go to school every saturday as well.. I'm tired...