you, who i constantly miss....

11th June 2009 0138hrs;

cant sleep... cant think straight... cant do it any longer... constant crying over you... cant do this any more... cant help it tho... you're soooo worth it... i love you dis much n in dis way but u do not know dis... i've missed you, i miss you n i have been missing you eversince ever!!!

in awhile, u will feel happy while i will still be here, missing you, cursing the world n wondering why on earth this world is so biased... why this world is against this love... i know that love is pure when put in the ryte circumstances... i would like to think dat what i feel for you is pure... but the whole world is against this kind of love... the way we were brought up, the way our family think, the way we view the world made this love that i feel for you a bad thing... i wonder if ever i will feel this kind of love for anybody else... in this instant n in this moment when my heart aches for you, i think it is impossible that i will love anybody else as much as i love you ryte now....

again n again i pray for Allah to erase what i feel for u coz i know it is wrong... again n again i cry every nyte before i sleep asking for Allah's mercy n asking that something would happen that would make me hate you... i wait for that day when i fall outof love for you... i wait for the day, that miracle truly magical day when i will fall in love with someone who will definitely love me back n dat nothing is in our way... i would rather avoid you than see you happy with another person... my heart aches whenever you laugh, coz everytym u laugh, it makes me fall more in love with you n i cant stop it... i find myself dreaming of you, my angan2 before i sleep includes you... my happy place is always with you...

ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just know dat u will be in my heart as always, or until i find your replacement...

I WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN YOU WILL MEET ME IN MY HAPPY PLACE N DAT IT IS A REALITY, OR IF I CANT HAVE IT WITH YOU, I PRAY TO ALLAH SWT THAT I MAY HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE WITH A MAN WHO LOVES ME MORE THAN I LOVE HIM, SO I WILL NOT HURT THIS MUCH.... I CANT TAKE THIS HEARTACHE ANY LONGER... ALLAH SWT HELP ME~~~

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE MYSELF... I WILL DROP EVERYTHING EVERYTYM U SAY MY NAME... THIS YOU KNOW... I WONT SAY ANY MORE....

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