i feel so blue. all the tym.. is there something wrong with me?! i've alwez wondered. everyday there will always be something that makes me sad. the fact that i am not a sharing kind of person doesnt help it much. i am a complex being. no one can ever understand me much. for now, i am a loner. a separate being from this reality i call life. i am who i am. will i ever accept me as myself? i feel gratitude towards The Almighty for His hand in everything i do, keeping me safe whenever i am in danger. i pray for my sake that He will protect my heart from cracking every single thing anyone did that hurt me little by little.. little cracks in my heart in a large quantity will equal a big broken heart. i have a lot of love to give, i just wish everyone feels the same. i wanna feel some love. but for now, i am alone.
friends try n tried to cheer me up but it doesnt work. I JUST WANT YOU TO FOCUS ON MY FEELINGS!!! not the others. okay?!! argh.. ntah eh... napakan aku ani....
i wish to goodness that i will triumph from being so depressed all the tym, coz i know i cant stand this at all... i wanna feel normal. i wanna go home where Bapa can be my rock. i miss bapa... i need bapa n zaki. cannot function without my family by my side. why?!! i want to be here before, why regret it? i dunno... wut the hell have i gotten myself into?!!
i give my love, my heart, my soul. take me as i am. my heart is still yours. it only takes your realisation to complete this never-ending circle... be with me!! ask how i am doing, ask how i feel today, ask how i feel in general. why dont you do that. i hate tag-alongs!!! argh.... Allah help me!!
i dont wanna feel this way. i constantly pray to Allah that He takes these feelings away so i can share you, so i can just fill the void in my heart with my stuff rather than u. n fill my soul with all the blessings n love other people are giving me, rather than waiting to receive yours. ouch my heart... its cracking... a few more n it will be broken. when it is tym for it to be broken through n through, u cannot be in my heart, sweetheart for i will close it n never open it for you ever again. so be quick~~ stop being gentle n force your way in... i am still waiting~~
no love is greater than what i feel for you. if you look closely, you are the only one that can mke me feel happy. you may notice that i dont tell you a lot but i tell you more than what i told other people. be aware!! i love you but i cannot tell you without the consequences... i cant stand the consequences... i know i cant. it will push me over. m on the verge...
urgh... whatever!! i am too emotional... forgive me if i made you doubt me, forgive me if ever i make you feel sad n wishing i hadnt done what i did, forgive me if i cannot tell you i love you...
forgive me for being frank but at the same tym not frank at all... please understand i cannot tell all!! shhhhh.....
~~~~~~~sigh~~~~~~~
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~sigh~
...sigh...
zeemah~ hi babe~ havent talk to u for aaaaaaages. hows u? u doesnt sound really good there arah post mu ah. aww~ *hugshugs* somethings not ok. issit dat 'thing' again? bah. cerita2 lah.i miss u btw. like a lot~ ehehe...love ya~
ReplyDeletehi lalengz~~ yea i dont sound good coz i dont feel gd.. nope not dat thing again. a new thing but i cant tell..
ReplyDeletei miss home though like really bad.. i miss my dad bnr2...
not to worry though okeh? i was just venting out my feelings.. m like so totally pms-ing ryte now. yea its d tym of the month. yea, dont worry ah... i will triumph...