wut do i feel ryte now?? a recap~~~

8th feb 2009 sunday 1926hrs;

i know it has been a long tym since i last updated... but i have stuff to do n i'm still contemplating whether to kep my blog private or public... coz the thing is, when i read back my previous blogs, i come off as a person who isnt in contrl of her emotions, not in control of herself, harsh and dependent... that is a lot to receive from a stranger's view... so i'm still thinking...

a recap...

i said no to Sam, still think dat is the best hing to do... h understands... but i am afraid that i will be weak and say yes... even now, i miss him really much, i miss him coz my heart aches for him... i miss him coz even now when i said no to him, he understands n stood by and let me be me... other ppl would've memajal to pester n stuff but he understands me n he doesnt want to pester me that much... i feel so weak whenever i think of him... but i will stay strong here with my friends coz they are the only ppl who knows me...

second thing, i was worried with kapjah coping with the kids ryte?? well, abg mori is here now... so at least kapjah ada moral support n physicl support... so i need not worry n just concentrate on my life here... so dat i am thankful to Allah coz now kapjah can study n concentrate on being a student... coz i know she is struggling...

third and last...

i miss home... whenever i sleep alone, i always recall the way bapa smiles when he picks me up from school and jokingly asked me to drive the Pregio van... haha... basr gila kali ah pregio ah... i miss Bapa... he seldoms smile for the camera but i got one pic of him smiling... n i wanna blow dat one up and taruh arah bilik so i can hug him whenever i fell homesick... i miss Bapa... lamah rasaku eyh without him here with me... i cry but nobody knows... even in the midst of hapiness with Eyah celebrating her bday here, i still yearn for my home... at home, i feel safe... at home, i feel secure... at home, i feel loved... at home, ADA BAPA!!!

okay.. dats the recap for all the happenings.. all the feelings that i have felt for the past few days... i cant control what i fell so i let it out here coz i dunno where else to go to...

another thing i have to get off my chest is this question:

how can you tell if someone is in love with you?? my friends, leave a taggy and answer this question, coz i wanna know what u think...

for me, i know that i love that someone when i feel lonely whenever that person is not with me... not enjoying the same experience as i am... i know i love that someone when i would rather spend my time with that person than do anything else... i know i love that someone when i do not mind sharing... i know i love that someone when i know that their smile that is directed only for me is what made my day... i know i love that person when i only care what they think of me... i know i love that someone when i would go to the ends of the Earth for them... i know that i love someone when i feel that that person is the only one that matters.. everything else doesnt... i know i love that someone when their hug made me feel better... i know i love that someone when i find everything they have to say and do are interesting, when i feel that everyone else's stuffs are no big deal... point i am making is dat, i know when i love someone...

question is: DO YOU?? and would you dare to tell them that you love them, in a serous manner and not infront of a lot of ppl and expect it to be nonchalant... tell them that you love them... dont be afraid... if it is worth you loving them, then you knw they wont reject you just like that... they wont.. they will give you a hug n tell you what they feel.. either way, you will feel better...

sometimes, the smallest things can make you fall in love with them... the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they smile, the way they look at you in that special way only they know how... the way they care about your well-being... even if they feel that they look ugly, you feel that they are the most beautiful being in the whole world... the fact is, love will triumph... as always...

so my msg for today is leave a taggy and ans the qn: how can you tell if a person loves you.. or when u know u love that someone... tell me... i wanna know...

another thing... when and if you love someone, TELL THEM... dnt wonder what will happen next coz u know they wont rejact you totally... so TELL THEM!!!

Adios n farewell chica~~~ i love you all... you read my stuff n might think u know me, but there are a lot of things buried deep inside of me that only me and Allah know... and i wanna keep it that way... so, assalamualaikum...